MEN.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love me some men. But my mom forwarded this to me via e-mail, and it's just too funny to keep to myself. If you're ever having a particularly bad moment with a certain someone in your life, check this out. It's guaranteed to make you laugh and feel just a little bit better about that complete-asshole-who-also-happens-to-be-the-love-of-your-life.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he steps out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replies.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor.

Dear Lord,
I pray for wisdom to understand my man; love to forgive him; and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death.
Amen.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.

Once again, I'll say that I love my boys. And I've met one or two that have proved these few jokes wrong. Now, if only we could get them all to catch on....