A Decade Gone

I can't believe that we've reached the end of 2009. This year has, undoubtedly, been the fastest and craziest year of my life. I can still remember ringing in the new year 2000, complete with cut-out paper streamers and hand-made confetti. I was eleven years old, and couldn't shake the feeling that something really exciting was going to happen.

The next ten years have certainly lived up to my young expectations. I graduated from gradeschool, was diagnosed with a medical rarity, went to highschool, transferred to a new highschool, made some of the most amazing friends a girl could ask for, had my heart broken, graduated highschool, went to college, sleepwalked through freshman year, and created a true home-away-from-home. Now, I'm twenty years old, a junior in college with a clear idea of where my life is headed. I always thought twenty was so old. Like, ancient. Ten years ago, I'd probably thought I'd be married or something by now. Ew.

I was a different person ten years ago. Sometimes, it scares me to remember how different. I was extremely introverted and shy; my lack of confidence in myself led to many a lunch alone. I wasn't a total bottom-feeder, but I sure as hell wasn't popular. The mean girls liked to make me their little experiment; they'd make me feel like I was "in," then tell me of all the fun they had at that party they didn't invite me to. By the time I was thirteen, I thought true friends were more mythical than unicorns. I'd resigned myself to my loneliness. I spent a few more years chasing the "boy of my dreams," thinking if I just tried hard enough, he'd finally like me. I did everything from changing my haircolor, my clothes, my attitude, my body--nothing worked. I'd known him my whole life, but he treated me like a stranger. Finally, at sixteen, I'd had enough. I was a shell of a person, broken and messed with to an unbearable extent. I was done. I didn't want to hate myself anymore. So I walked away. In my twenty-year existence, it's the best thing I've ever done for myself.

He was the first person I ever changed myself for. He is also the last. Through all the heartbreak and backstabbing, I learned a very valuable lesson at a young age: always, always, always be yourself. There are people who aren't going to like you no matter what you do. But if you don't like you, that's a much bigger problem. I've spent the last four years trying to figure out who exactly I am. I've made some pretty decent progress, and this is what I've come up with: I love to laugh. I'm a 75% optimist...trying to get to that full 100 soon. I live to write. I'm a hopeless romantic, no matter what the world tells me or how jaded I should be. I love music. I'm organized and can't stand a mess. My haircolor will always change. I like doing well in school. I'll always be most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I'm addicted to coffee and peanut butter. I love to go out, but I'm also a homebody. I love cooking. I love my family and our crazy Italian-ness. I can be insecure. I worry a lot. I have "mother-hen" syndrome. I'm stubborn. I'm honest. And deep down, I now know who I am. And I'll never stray from that. Ever.

My friends are a big part of who I am. I haven't forgotten the time when I thought I'd never have the kind of BFFs you read about in books and magazines, the kind that I'd watch on the playground. But I was wrong. I have all that and more. They're the best part of me. They're the ones who remind me everyday just how lucky I am. I adore my friends from highschool, and I'm permanently attached to my friends in college. They push me and encourage me; they're my second family. They know me better than I know myself sometimes. And I know there isn't a boy in the world that I'd trade them for.

The last ten years have been crazy. It's hard to encompass everything I've seen, done, and learned because there's just too much. But I do know how different I am. You could say I'm wiser, smarter, quicker. I am older, and I guess that comes with the territory. I've asked a lot of questions and doubted where my life was heading. I guess that's normal, but I'm tired of asking, "Why me?" or "Why not me?" If I've learned anything, it's that you can't sit around and wait for life to happen to you--you need to go out there and make life happen. Take a chance. Have the confidence to go after what you want. Don't shy away and let opportunities pass you by. Listen to your gut. Follow your heart. They all sound like cliches, and in my mind, they used to be. But ever since I changed my perspective, these don't seem like cliches anymore. They're extremely hard to follow but also extremely worth it. I can't wait for 2010, 2011, and beyond....something tells me that this next decade will be even better than the last.

Ted Talk

So here's a little preview of my TED talk...these are just the videos and slides. I'm posting them here for easy access during my presentation. Hope everything goes well!

Ted Talk

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REVISED Twitter Project

So, being the neurotic student that I am, a B is not going to cut it for a presentation I worked hard on. So, I present the new and improved Twitter Presentation, complete with a hilarious YouTube clip at the end!

Twitter Presentation, Revised

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Official, Sexy TED Talk

Andrea Modica, a first generation member of the social media explosion, talks about the side-effects of technological relationships and the impersonal interactions that result from social mediums like Facebook. Using personal experiences and anedcotes, she questions whether Facebook is pure genuis or just plain creepy. Join her for laughs and uncomfortable self-realizations if you can handle the truth that you'd never admit outloud.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

So, I've got the Rolling Stones stuck in my head as I contemplate my life thus far. It's been a pretty decent semester, but as I continue to learn the hard way, you can't always get what you want. I'm off to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

Twilight Schmilight

So, I'm about to feed into the Twilight mania that surrounds us everywhere!

Um, just kidding.

This spoof cracks me up. It's super old, but super funny. I'll admit to having read the series and I possibly-maybe-sort of attended midnight premieres for one or both movies. But even the most diehard fan has to admit this is freakin' hilarious. Enjoy!

Best parts: running after the girl, "Hey! I'm immortal!"
"Ow! Who shut that?"

Oh, hey Ted!

So, for our final project in my communications class, we'll be giving TED talks. For those of you who are unfamiliar with TED talks, they're little speeches packed with information about technology and--wait for it--communication! I'm not completely sure what I'm doing, but I have an idea.

So, any Facebook users out there? Yeah, I thought so. Facebook has revolutionized my generation. It's invented new ways to keep in touch with people you don't see very often (and the people you see everyday, because constant communication is apparently as necessary as air). However, Facebook also gives a whole new meaning to creeping.

Yes, you know what I mean. Facebook stalking. We all do it; don't lie. That cute guy in your English class puts up a questionable status: what does it mean? Quick, check his relationship status to make sure he's still single. While we're on the page, let's look at his pictures for the umpteenth time. Oh, he looks so cute in that shirt. Back to the wall. Wait, a girl likes his status? Who is she? Damn, her Facebook is private. We have a few friends in common, though. I should ask those people about her. Is she single? Is she interested in him? God, I hope not. Ugh, this sucks. I'm going to bed. Oh! A notification.

This is the thought-process of your average, everyday Facebook stalker. It's not a crime, nor is it as creepy as it looks typed out. But it's far too common on these types of sites. The more friends you accumulate, the more profiles you can view. And let's be honest, you don't really have 659 friends. No one's that popular. Get over yourself and stop looking at your arch rival from 8th grade's profile. Unless you truly care what that person is doing. In that case, I feel very, very sorry for you.

Facebook has its strong suits, but it also can detract from real human-to-human contact. You can keep an entire relationship afloat through messages and wall posts. You don't have to actually know or see somebody to know what they're doing, how they're doing it, and who they're doing it with. It's completely impersonal and a little strange. That's where I'm going with my TED talk. More to come....

How Far is Too Far?

That's the question a lot of people are asking after Adam's Lambert's racy performance at the American Music Awards last night. It's one of the top headlines on every news website right now, and everybody's talking about it. Which I'm sure Adam loves.

But here's the thing. I watched the show live. I saw the entire performance, in all its crotch-grabbing, thrusting, make-out session, oral sex-simulating glory. I also watched Adam on American Idol, where his "revolutionary" performances on that stage look like a church music pageant compared to last night.

I'm all for standing out, proving a point. I'm a fan of Adam's, flaming gayness and all. I think he's extremely talented and extremely unique.

But he went too far. I mean, fall-over-the-edge-because-you-went-too-far too far. This was prime time television. Those on the east coast saw the entire performance live before it was edited for west-coast audiences. It was rauncy. There's no other word to describe it. To say it was inappropriate would be an understatement. Not only were the movements and innuendos completely uncalled for and over-the-top, but Adam's heralded vocals were nothing to get excited over. Everyone was so busy having a WTF moment while he was gyrating, nobody paid any attention to him as an artist. The song was mediocre and his vocals were no better. And, should I mention the fact that he fell? Major, major oops.

This was the first time Adam's been on TV since Idol. His album hits stores soon, and this was his chance to pop back up on everyone's radar. In a positive way. This was his chance to remind everyone why his loss to Kris Allen was the biggest Idol upset ever. Instead, he turned off a lot of people. Let's face it; you either love Adam or you hate him. He could have taken many people off the fence last night with a rousing performance. Instead, he puts on a show so insulting to many Americans that he could have just ended his career.

Adam's defending the performance, of course. He says the west-coast editing was wrong and discriminatory. He believes he has the right to express himself as he wants. And it's true, he does. But America's not going to change overnight and suddenly accept a performance like that. He knew he was going to piss people off. But he did it anyway.

He's free to be the artist he wants to be. But he should expect, and accept, the backlash. Let's hope, for his sake, that after the stage smoke clears, he still has a career to talk about.

Twitter Presentation!

Twitter Presentation

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PHAIL.

It's a good thing I had such a level head about our victory last night.

Cause it was all just shot to hell.

Shake it off, Phils. Losing Game 2 has been a bit of a pattern, and it's worked out for the best in the end.

Must. Stay. Positive.
Must. Stay. Positive.

Phuck, boys. Epic phail.

But at least you're coming home. Let's make some magic in the Bank.

Because I want a parade, goddammit! And we all know that's the most important thing.

Top 10 Reasons I Won't Gloat

Here are my top 10 reasons for not gloating about the Phils' Game 1 victory tonight.

10. Gloating is unattractive, and I'm not a Yankees fan.

9. I don't want any bad karma for my boys.

8. It's one game, and just one game.

7. Pedro's pitching tomorrow, and that could go either way.

6. The Phils did well with RISP, but they could have done better.

5. Jeter didn't seem to have too many issues hitting the ball.

4. My father (a staunch Yankee fan) is on the cusp of disowning me.

3. If I meet a cute guy who happens to love those Yanks, I don't want my gloating to get in the way.

2. I can't marry Chase Utley, seeing as he's already spoken for.

1. The fact that we can repeat in 3 games makes gloating unnecessary.

It's Inspirational

Because you can't have too much of a good thing...



The faces on these babies are absolutely priceless. LOVE IT.

Obsessed With This Song

This song comes from a very early David Cook album called Analog Heart. It came out in 2006, 2 years before David auditioned for Idol. It's got some awesome stuff on it, all of which David wrote and produced. He also played guitar and piano on the record. This song is called "Makeover," and it's amazing. Check it out! Lyrics after the jump.



Completely colorblind, these red lights are going unseen
Fall behind with words unsaid you know they're always obscene
Cause my ears, they bled before; I need to let them heal
She fell out; her broken legs won't let her walk away
From this town that couldn't give a single shit either way
And her fears, they bled before she's convinced that they're real
What are you looking for?
Are you looking for something more?
It's not me, it's not me
Lost her way from everything she swore she knew, a friend
Run away from start to finish though it never ends
In her mind she is blinded by all she sees
Close your eyes; just pretend the bullet isn't there
No surprise; no need to pretend that no one really cares
But in her eyes you will find the very best in me
What are you looking for?
Are you looking for something more?
It's not me, it's not me
When did it all unwind?
Are you prepared for what you'll find?
It's not me, it's not me

That's All.

Let's Count Our Chickens...After They Hatch

So, the little big man on the Phillies has decided to go public with his World Series prediction: Phillies over the Yankees in 5.

Woah, Jimmy. I love my Phils and everything, but even I'm not that optimistic.

The Yankees are currently showcasing the best team they've had since 2000. Despite what you may think of A-Rod personally (personally, I think he's a jackass), he's putting up some amazing postseason numbers. Jeter is on fire (in every way possible) and the pitching staff behind CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte is tougher than anything right now.

Still, we have a bigger shot than the head honchos of sports are giving us credit for.

First, we have Cliff Lee, who can go toe-to-toe with a CC Sabathia we had no trouble hitting in the regular season. We met the Yankees three times and took two games. Lee has proven himself a true postseason ace, with a 0.74 ERA that's lower than Sabathia's 1.12.

Second, the bats of Mark Texiera, Jorge Posada, Hideki Matsui, and Nick Swisher (who I have trouble believing actually plays major league ball) have fallen significantly silent. They won their season-clinching game against the Angels thanks to numerous walks, hit batters, and errors.

I think we can play with that.

Ryan Howard has been on fire. Jimmy Rollins has been clutch, Werth is showcasing the dangerous player he truly is, and Carlos Ruiz is giving us a much-needed boost in the 8-spot. Both Chase Utley and Raul Ibanez are due, and if the last few games of the Dodgers series are any indiciation, they could get hot at the exact right moment.

Yes, Cole Hamels is in a funk. He had a pretty shotty regular season that hasn't been helped by his mediocre post-season starts. He's probably the most emotional pitcher I've ever watched, and someone needs to slap him around a few times. A base hit is not the equivilant to the apocalypse. He needs to keep his cool on the mound and not let the little things get to him. Cole needs to get back in this if we want to win the World Series. The Yankees will capitalize on bad pitching.

And possibly, just possibly, Brad Lidge may be returning to his old self. Now, after cursing out the very man who blew 11 save opportunities this year, I wasn't the first one to jump up and down in excitement over his postseason 0.00 ERA. But maybe Brad's sucky season truly testifies to this amazing Phillies team: last year, they probably wouldn't have made the postseason without Brad's perfect record, and this year, they're in the World Series in spite of his 11 blown saves. He looks more confident on the mound, and his command is back to a place that I haven't seen since last October. Baseball is a 99% head-game, and if Brad's head is where it should be, our "Lights Out Lidge" may be back.

Bottom line: This series is going to be epic. Positively epic. My family loves the Yankees, and I am the lone Phillies fan. I don't mind the holy war in my house, mainly because I have all the confidence in the world in my Phils. I'm not worried about their week-long break and the possibility of them falling out of their groove. I'm not worried about the Yankees' heralded pitching, just like I wasn't worried about the Dodger threat-that-never-was.

We're the World Champions. The World Phucking Champions. And if the Yankees think they're going to have an easy series, they better think again.

Facebook, YouTube, and All That Good Stuff

I was about this old when I had my first experience with social media. (That's me with the dark hair sitting directly in front of that ancient artifact of a computer.) It was probably around 1998, 1999, and I was right about the ripe old age of 10. My parents had just discovered the wonders of AOL dial-up and had created email addresses for themselves. I, on the other hand, had absolutely no idea what this was. All I knew was that I couldn't be on the phone and the computer at the same time. And that waiting for the page to load took so long, I usually moved on to the TV, which housed the wonders of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel.

I wasn't this bored with technology for long. One of my good friends at the time helped me make my first, real email address. I think he was the only person who ever sent me anything, but I loved hearing those infamous words, "You've Got Mail." That seems insanely primitive now, doesn't it? He'd write a few words, a whole sentence at best, and I'd respond with massive levels of enthusiasm.

That first "screen name" evolved from simple emails to instant messaging, the other wonder of my prepubescent life. Then that evolved into chat rooms, which became so shady so fast, it was barely a phase. (Screen names like BaByGiRl657 and Sk8erboi999 were really 40 year old men living with their mother, and that posed a problem for my internet privileges.) Soon, MySpace came on the scene, and anyone who was anyone had one. You used it to keep in touch with friends, meet new people, and show off pictures.

But, like everything these days, MySpace fizzled out. And Facebook took over. I created my facebook when I was a senior in high school. My friends taught me the etiquette, like how you can't add that cute guy you went to the dance with until you had at least 80 friends. I use that facebook now to mainly keep in touch with my friends, who are skattered across the east coast at college. We talk a lot, even if it's just for a moment, thanks to facebook. It's fun to look up old friends, like the ones you went to grade school with, and it was also really helpful with introducing yourself to other college freshmen you hadn't met yet. Now I'm a junior in college, and I still use it. Facebook will most likely meet its demise, probably because something better will eventually come along.

I've been using Twitter for a few months, and even though I was baffled by its initial uselessness, I'm totally addicted now. There's something about expressing your emotions in 140 characters or less. Microblogging is genius. It's great. And it saves me from updating my facebook status every 2.386865 seconds and clogging my friends' news feeds with useless chatter about how that ham sandwich from Subway did not taste right last night.

I just installed Skype on my computer, mainly because one of my best friends is studying abroad in Italy this semester, and we needed a way to stay in touch. As she tells me frequently, I suck at Skype. Personally, I think I suck at remembering that she's 6 hours ahead. But, if I've learned anything during the past 10 years or so, it's that I'll get the hang of it. Eventually.

Genuis Marketing

This video is hilarious. I'm obsessed with those E*Trade baby commercials, and this is a video of the outtakes that didn't make TV. If you're having a bad day, take a look. It's impossible not to laugh.

I beLEEve!

I am a huge, HUGE Phillies fan, and I was beyond excited with the ass-whoopin' they handed the Dodgers last night, thanks to the fiery bats of the offense and the amazing game put forth by the man above, Mr. Cliff Lee. They play Game 4 tonight, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Joe Blanton can be as phenomenal in the post-season as he was in the regular season. Anyone remember his home run in the World Series?

I'm anxious, but anxious excited. If they had just rallied behind an outstanding Pedro Martinez in Game 2, they'd be up 3 games to none. But you can't change the past, and I'll take a lead, even if it's only by one game. But the Phils can finish this out at home, and I think it's very likely. However, a loss tonight would mean a definite trip back to LA. Let's not give the Dodgers the chance to look forward to their home field. Let's keep it in the family and finish this in Philly.

Not About Love....or is it?

WE DID IT! Our communications video is finally finished, and I must say, it turned out fabulously! We worked so hard on this, and I think we all can be proud of what we accomplished. Just in case you're wondering, we took a Fiona Apple song and recited the lyrics, telling a story through pictures. It's below...enjoy!

Project Prognosis

Project Prognosis: Excellent. Our group met today, and I must say, we accomplished a lot. Our digital movie is going to be musical, poetic, colorful, imaginative, unexpected, original, and yes--artsy.

We have a pretty decent storyboard going--we know what images we want, and we now have to go out and get them. Easy enough, right?

We're taking a pretty cliche idea and turning it on its head. The song we've chosen as the basis for our movie is completely off-the-wall, totally unique. Fiona Apple is not your average songwriter, and her lyrics have so much depth and meaning. There's a million different things we could do, and I think the more options we have, the better our project will be.

So, bottom line: if you think you know what we're going to do, think again. If you're expecting a conventional music video, don't. Get ready for something fabuloussss!

LOVE.

I saw this boy on Saturday night. For those of you living under a rock, "this boy" is David Cook, my one and only celebrity crush. Yes, he was on American Idol, and yes, he won. But before you go and diss my musical preferences, take my word on this: he is an amazing performer. So not your average, cookie-cutter, oops-my-thirty-minutes-of-fame-are-up American Idol winner.

Go see him. Seriously. He was in Atlantic City this past weekend, and one of my best friends came with me. She liked him, and she thought she would like his music, so she humored me and came along.

Let's just say she's a little more enthusiastic about Mr. Cook these days.

I actually met him a little over a year ago, and he is one of the sweetest, nicest, funniest, most down-to-earth people I've ever met. And he looks even better in person.

Yes, that's possible.

So anyway, I was extremely excited after this AC show because I got thisclose to him in his guitar-playing glory. LOVE IT.

Ok. Enough about that. I leave you with this amazingly funny video:

Apocalyspe Now, or Later?

For my communications class, we've been assigned The Conversations, a text about film editing that is, in actuality, a conversation between friends Walter Murch (an Academy Award-winning sound mixer) and author Michael Ondaatje.

Ondaatje. Good luck pronouncing and spelling that. I think I'm just going to copy and paste his name whenever I need it.

Anyway, it's a really interesting book about the process of film editing. From the average consumer's perspective, the most important part of a movie is the finished product. We see the actors and special effects, hear the music and voiceovers. But, I know I've always wondered what goes on behind the scenes.

Have you?

Coincidently, I'm also taking a screenwriting class this semester, and this book adds another perspective to my film education. If you've never heard of Walter Murch, you've probably heard of, or seen, some of his movies:

Apocalypse Now, Ghost, Cold Mountain, The Godfather Part III, and The English Patient, among others.

What's really neat about this text is that Murch has also worked with some very famous names, including Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas. It gives such a fascinating inside look to the world of film, which I've always been interested in. It's so much more than the finished product...the real work happens after the actors go home and the editors sit down with hours upon hours of footage.

If you think about it, they're the real stars.

This Blog's Like a Box of Chocolates....

You never know what you're gonna get. I love this movie, and I'm learning to love this blog. It's my first one, so I'm still getting the hang of things. But that being said, there's a few things I'd like to improve upon.

1. Put more pictures up. I promise to get better with this. Now that I've discovered how to do it, I'm addicted. Expect something extra with every post. I'm still working on videos, but as soon as I get that...booyah. It'll be magic.

2. Trackbacks = evil. They don't like me. Not here, and not on my internship's wordpress site. I don't see us forming a friendship, but I will try. They are kinda nifty.

3. I have, what I call, English-major syndrome. I like to write long paragraphs and then wrap everything up nicely in the end. I need to stop doing that here. My posts have been shorter recently, and I've been actively trying to keep the paragrahs separated and to-the-point. I don't want to bore anyone, and I know that I can be intimidated by long, wordy pieces. I won't pull a Forrest and start narrating my life story to the first person who will listen. Promise.

4. Aesthetically, I'd like to change things. I'm pretty stumped on how to changed my layout, and all the pinks and purples are starting to get to me. It looks kinda amateurish, and I'm not a huge fan of that. I'd like to make it more professional looking with the template. However, I do like the simplicity of it. I don't like anything that's too busy. I hope I figure out how to tweak these little tings and fix everything up nicely.

RIP

I'm absolutely devastated because Patrick Swayze passed away today. Not only was he one of my favorite actors, but he was a stand-up guy with a big heart and great talent. He will be greatly missed. My thoughts and condolences go out to his family, especially his wife (they've been together for almost 40 years). RIP, Patrick. Hollywood won't be the same without you.

Pretty Pictures = Successful Site?

Ever checked out the Webby Award winners? Don't feel bad; I never did either, at least not until my last communications class. It stemmed off our discussion of how websites garner their appeal, either through great information or aesthetically pleasing layouts and designs. One website in particular, http://www.saab.com/turbogenetest, has got to be one of the coolest sites I've ever seen. Give it a click, and check it out. You'll see why it was a Webby winner in the cateogry of Best Visual Design--Aesthetic.

There's something so dynamic about this site. I know it's superficially about finding the perfect car to fit your individual needs, but there's something innately personal, too. The graphics are absolutely gorgeous...the seamless way the different scenes flow together is all sleek and whatnot. It's also a lot of fun, which has to count for something, right? Even the music draws you in...one of the girls in my group said it sounded like VIP music. The personal touch pulls you in and makes you want to continue on...it makes the whole experience enjoyable, which for a consumer, is very important. No one's going to waste their time on a clunky site that doesn't hold any sort of interest for them.

Heck, you may want to go buy a Saab after seeing this. Marketing genuis, I tell you.

Guilty Pleasure?

I follow a few blogs, but they're probably not, what some might call, reputable. My roommate last year was a huge fan of Perez Hilton, and she got me hooked. He's something of a diva, with a huge attitude and a pretty crass way of writing. But you get sucked in, and it's pretty tough to quit cold turkey. It's fun; that's pretty much the only reason I read it.

I'm also a member of Twitter, which is more of a micro-blog. I always feel restricted by the 140-character limit, so I'd much rather blog elsewhere. On a positive note, it's quick news updates, and it gets right to the point. If I see something on Twitter that grabs my interest, I can go almost anywhere else on the web to get the full-length version of what's going on.

I'm also an intern blogger for collegejolt.com, a website written by college students for college students. It's a lot of fun, and not every post is school-related. You can go there for advice, how-to's, book and movies reviews, etc. I follow it mainly because I work for it, but I think I'd follow it even if they weren't my employers.

I looked up the Top Blogs, and two really caught my eye. I'm now going to follow /Film (pronounced slash film) because I'm a big movie buff, and I can appreciate a good review. Also, Confessions of a Pioneer Woman looks fascinating; it reminds me of the premise for the Amy Adams/Meryl Streep movie Julie & Julia. I like reading things that are more lightweight--I follow CNN on Twitter, and sometimes I think that's all the death-and-destruction-mixed-with-a-good-economic-crisis I can handle for one day.

It's Like That Really, Really Bad Jonas Brothers Song...

It's not quite the year 3000, but the future holds some pretty daunting ideas. Technology seems to grow everyday, and some new application on FaceBook constantly pops up in my notifications. With nifty things like webcams and Skype, we can see each other through computer screens. (And I thought AIM was the coolest things since sliced bread.)

Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, the future is coming, and it's coming soon. The videos we watched in my communications class last week really got me thinking about what the next decades will bring. The video titled "The Future of Communication" was probably the scaries thing I've subjected myself to since reading 1984...even though it's fiction, there's something eerily true about it. At the rate we're going, who's to say that Google won't buy out Microsoft? It's not inplausible to consider Yahoo! and Amazon merging, is it? Especially in the economic crisis we find ourselves in, companies will consider anything to remain in business. There will be mergers, it's just a matter of who and when. Scary.

Even though "The Future of Communication" was done well, there was something Big-Brother-esque about it. Will we live in "virtual worlds," where experiences are simulated? The new movie with Bruce Willis called Surrogates seems to explore this idea. It's pretty creepy, if you ask me. I want to live my own life, on my own terms. I hope to God technology doesn't make that simple desire impossible some day. The other clip we watched, "Epic 2015," was a little better--not as morbid, and instead focused on technological advances and not the crossover between humans and machines.

They're all interesting concepts, and they certainly have the power to get the brain-juices flowing. But just how much of our future has already been predicted? It's a pretty unsettling thought.

Disclaimer: I, in no way shape or form, promote the Jonas Brothers. Frankly, they hurt my ears and eyes. Their song just serves my own purposes.

Bacon is Good for Me!

So I saw this clip on YouTube and decided it was too hilarious to keep to myself. If you haven't laughed yet today, take a look at this:



Now go have a piece of bacon.

Long Time No See

Ciao bloggers! It's been a really long time since I wrote here....maybe it had something to do with the fact that I landed a blogging internship (unpaid, but I'm not complaining....not yet, at least) at collegejolt.com. Now I have deadlines and all that junk to pay heed to, and my cute little E&E blog fell by the wayside.

My sincerest apologies.

I'm back because of my communications class. I started my junior year at SJU yesterday, and so far, so good. I'm dropping a class, but picking up a better one. I've been around this block numerous times now, so not too much surprises me. I still love meeting my friends for a coffee break at Starbucks and watching cheesy ABC Family movies on Saturday nights. I'm really excited about this communications class, mainly because I just declared it as my new minor. I'm an English (writing) major, and writing is the one thing I feel I was born to do. I have a lot to say, and it takes a lot to shut me up. The only thing I love more than writing is reading, which is probably why I want to (ideally) write novels for a living, but I'd settle for opening my own book store. A good Borders or Barnes&Noble is my idea of heaven, so just drag me there if you want to make me happy :)

Anyway, enough about me. As the semester progresses, I'm sure there will be lots of interesting stuff to write about. So stay tuned....

Maybe Life's Like Coffee--An Acquired Taste

So, I picked up the latest Sarah Dessen book last week, Along for the Ride. I'm a huge fan of her writing, and I've read all her books. Along for the Ride is really fantastic, diving into deeper issues with the cover of surface teenager-isms. One of the major themes was the notion of change, and whether people are truly capable of it.

For instance, if you hate dogs now, will you ever love them in the future? If you don't want kids now, can that change when you meet the right person? Or is your personality set in stone, with your truest desires and passions unchangeable and unmovable?

In my own way, I know that I've changed. Significantly. I'm not the same person I was four, five, or six years ago. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm only twenty years old, and I'm expected to flip-flop.

But maybe I'm not the norm.

I defied the odds when I stuck with my initial college major. I still don't like Cooler Ranch Doritos or green beans. I still love books and new school supplies. My hair color has fluctuated slightly, alternating between lighter browns and reds, but I still refuse to become a blonde.

Reading some old diary entries, and I mean old, I realized with horror how young and foolish I was. As I glanced back into the thought-processes of an 11-15 year-old, parts of me cringed in embarrassment. Did I really do that? Did I really say that? Was I really that dramatic?

I want to run up to everyone I knew during those years (and maybe one specific person in particular, whose name was written waaaaay too many times in that diary) and defend the person I am now, showcasing how different I truly am. I'm not that same little girl who seemed to have no idea what social norms were. I'm not that dramatic anymore; in fact, I'm level-headed almost to a fault. My life no longer revolves around getting that one boy to finally notice me.

I'm so different. I've changed. Right around the time I turned sixteen, I started to realize that the girl who wrote those diary entries wasn't me anymore. I grew up quickly and developed what I consider my real personality. Parts of that little girl are still with me: the sensitivity, the heart, the drive to succeed. But they've matured as I did. And I can't really say I'm the same person.

So maybe change is possible. It may not be earth-shattering, and not everyone may see it. I think about all the people who will be left with the memory of me at that age, and I have to stop wishing I could rectify that image. Even though reading some of those entries made me a little queasy, I saw that those events and feelings are the foundations for who I am today. I can't, and won't, apologize for being young and silly. I won't apologize for being all-too-obvious with my crush. I won't apologize for feeling what I felt. Was it dumb? Yes. But at the time, it was me.

As people and things come in and out of our lives, I do believe they change us. Loss has left me quite a different person, as have new experiences. Hell, maybe I'll even try a green bean.

Memory Lane

As part of a graduation present for my cousin, I've been going through masses upon masses of old pictures. For the most part, the experience has been great; I love looking back at moments completely frozen in time, otherwise forgotten if not for a camera. There's my 5-year-old self on my first amusement park ride, as well as my fifteen-year-old self getting my ears pierced for the second time. Each picture holds a memory, and I can almost instantly place myself back in time to the exact moment captured.

Some pictures, though, are harder to see. They pop up when I least expect it and hold memories I've tried to squash for years. People come in and out of your life--this is an undisputed fact. Not everyone sticks around forever, no matter how much you want them to. Some short-lived relationships pan out in pictures, whether it's a birthday party surrounded by your then-best friend or a high school dance, in the arms of your dream boy.

Some pictures I've hidden for so long, I almost forgot they existed.

My mind may have forgotten, but my heart didn't. One look at some of these images, and I can almost feel the sharp sting of loss. Whether it's looking at my grandmother, who I only knew for fifteen short years, or old family friends who left without a care, going back down memory lane just plain hurts. I don't like taking myself back down old paths, because the past is the past. No matter how hard I deny it, the proof stays directly in front of me. These pictures remind me that some of that nasty stuff really did happen, and there's nothing I can do to erase it.

No matter how many times I rip up pictures from my junior dance, the heartbreak doesn't go away. No matter how many times I avoid a cemetery, my grandmother is still gone. No matter how many years I spend in denial, it happened. All of it. Looking at the proof feels like being slapped in the face all over again, the carefully placed band aid ripped off the wound.

And yet, it's different every time. With almost four years between myself and the most painful of memories, I can see that time does heal things. Not everything, by far--but it can create a sense of calm, and more importantly, a sense of self. I am who I am because of my past. It's not pretty, and my scars haven't healed. But without the past, there is no present, and therefore no future. The past belongs in the past; it belongs in the 4x6 photographs stored away in boxes, brought out only once in a while. The future is blank, undeveloped--and it's up to me now how those pictures turn 0ut.

It's a responsibility I'm more than willing to accept.

Do nice people finish last?

Okay, so I'm going to admit my weak spot right off the bat: I'm a reality TV addict. My personal favorites are American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and The Bachelor/Bachelorette. All are horrific addictions, as I become emotionally attached to the people involved each and every season. I voted 568 times for David Cook over the span of 4 hours, and threw pillows at the screen when Jason Mesnick publicly dumped the lovely Melissa Rycroft on live television.

So, as par the course, my ass hits the sofa every Monday night at 8:00 pm to watch Mesnick reject Jillian attempt to find true love over the span of 6 weeks on The Bachelorette. I immediately picked out my few favorites: Reid (a hometown Philly boy...where have you been hiding?), Michael (an adorable break-dance instructor), and Jake (a sweeter-than-sweet airplane pilot). Then there are the absolute assholes who aren't there "for the right reasons": Juan (I swear he was gay), Dave (a complete rageaholic who likened Jillian to a piece of meat), and Wes (the country crooner who obviously only cares about his music career, which he has no idea is crashing and burning as The Bachelorette airs).

This week, on episode 6, Jillian left three bachelors out in the cold: "too young" Robbie, "foot fetish guy" Tanner, and my sweeter-than-sweet Jake, arguably the best combination of good looks and sincerity that show ever dreams of finding. In his tearful sendoff video, Jake tries to understand why it is that "nice guys always finish last." Some may argue this isn't true, but isn't this ABC show living proof that people have no idea what they want? Jillian preaches about how she wants someone she can rely on, someone who is ready to start a family and settle down. Yet she keeps around publicity-whore Wes and baby-faced Michael (who I love, but let's face it--he's not ready to be a poppa) while sending Jake home, who might as well have had "I'm husband material" tattooed on his face. Instead, Jillian slaps him with the "you're an amazing person, but you're too perfect" write-off, and the handsome pilot is once again a bachelor.

Can I just say that I was utterly smitten by Jake? In the six short episodes I saw, I found him to be the most genuine and romantic guy I've ever seen on this most unfortunate dating show. Why he isn't already settled down is beyond me. His sincerity and honesty was obvious, and his thousand-watt smile is enough to make you swoon. He is just a simply nice guy. He's not mysterious, he's not dangerous; he's calm, reliable, and completely snuggle-worthy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen: this man is too perfect and must be avoided AT ALL COSTS.

So, let me get this straight: Jake was too wonderful, too sweet, too loving, too caring. Uh-huh, I understand why Jillian would reject him. It's so clear to me now.

I'm ashamed of my sex.

Here I am, almost twenty years old, and I have yet to find someone I want to spend time with. I've yet to find that decent, smart, considerate man who loves unconditionally and is unapologetic about it. Jake is the epitome of someone I'm looking for, and here I am, watching him get rejected by a girl who clearly wouldn't know a good man if he was wearing a neon sign while dancing naked in front of her. Maybe I'm mature for my age, or maybe I'm just an old soul, but I don't find the "bad boys" endearing at all. What I'm looking for is quite the opposite, and I guess I assumed all other women were too--I thought that's why all the great guys I've met in college are taken.

Is this really what women want? The "bad boys" who drip mystique and bad cologne? The ones who will undoubtedly break their hearts and create the drama that some find as necessary as oxygen? Maybe that's what Jillian wants, but I think I speak for many women when I say that in our minds, nice guys will always finish first. Jake--it's not over for you, love. You're a wonderful man with so much to offer someone. Jillian wasn't the one for you, but I'd be happy to slip you my number anytime.